Pursuing Zero Waste
Lessons We Are Still LearningI can hardly believe that January 2017 marks the beginning of our family’s fourth year of pursuing Zero Waste by living with less. Looking back over the previous three years I am proud of how far we have come, but I continue to encounter important lessons along the way.
Our approach to lessons/changes has always been to deal with them as they arise. Any other way would simply be too overwhelming. For us, the learning curve was fast, with most of the lessons emerging in the first 18 months. During this time I looked to other Zero Wasters for insight, and I often benefited from their experience. Thankfully, I now understand that Zero Waste is very personal. It has to be. Each family has different needs, and each municipality, city, province or state has different climates, access to resources and support. I have also realized that the “Zero Waste” name is an aspirational goal, an idealistic concept, that is more about progress than perfection.
It is not a religion. I repeat… it is not a religion.
I don’t think I’m a fanatic when it comes to Zero Waste, but this past Christmas taught me that I can be overly restrictive in how I go about things. Instead of being mindful of my Christmas gift purchases, I was focused on finding something—anything!—suitable and getting my shopping done early. In the end, my rushing conspired to teach me lessons about thoughtfulness and extravagance, two things that were not in the forefront of my thinking as I shopped.
A little background before I continue.
Like many families, we exchange gifts. But consistent with Zero Waste, we favour buying second-hand. And in regard to our kids, we try to give experiences in place of “things.” We also do not wrap gifts in the traditional way; instead, we opt to use handmade gift sacks. Overall, we are trying to be mindful not to be excessive with decorations, activities, food, or the number of gifts we give. Adopting these changes has proven to be a blessing as it reduces stress, freeing up time and energy to focus on what is truly important during the holidays: the people in your life.
BUT! My desire to get my shopping out of the way and my worry of not finding decent second-hand gifts led me to rush the process. Late November, early December, I was addicted to Kijiji and Varagesale looking for age-appropriate items that seemed trendy. By the end of the first week of December, my errands were complete; I was quite proud of myself as I felt I now had the rest of the month to relax and enjoy the festive season.
The first lesson, thoughtfulness, came as I was wandering a Christmas Market with a friend mid-December. Being overly focused on buying second-hand, shopping at the Christmas Market hadn’t occurred to me; yet it was the ideal venue to hunt for the perfect gift. I found myself disheartened that I had completed my shopping; anything I bought here would be superfluous. This really hit home when my friend spotted a sweet gift for her daughter. In a little store, we found handmade cloth mice, about four inches tall, adorned in individual outfits and accessories. Each mouse came with a unique mouse house made out of upcycled match and cigar boxes which were lovingly painted and filled with handmade pillows and blankets. THIS was the perfect gift for my daughter, a three-year-old filled with imagination. I could just picture her tucking her mouse into bed before I tucked her in. My need to buy second-hand caused me to rush, settling for a generic plastic toy. I missed the opportunity to buy an unpackaged, handmade toy that was not only beautiful but special.




The second lesson, extravagance, came on Christmas morning. We decided to give the children physical gifts from Santa and an experience from us. The experience we settled on was an overnight stay at Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls. Now, we did feel that this gift was extravagant. Great Wolf Lodge is expensive. We justified it by telling ourselves, “It’s Christmas!” and,”We’re only living in Toronto for a year, so if not now, when?” and, “It’s an experience worth paying for.” For anyone unfamiliar with Great Wolf Lodge, it’s a North American hotel chain that features a massive indoor water park, themed rooms, and a multitude of activities geared for children of all ages. After rave reviews from friends, we decided this would be a great experience to give.
About ten days before Christmas our kids were playing in our bedroom, and they found their stocking stuffers – DOH! My stockings, as a child consisted of chocolate and candies, any needed necessities such as socks, underwear, toothbrushes, a comic book or magazine and sometimes a small toy. Naturally, my children’s stockings are similar, filled with bulk chocolate, socks, new bamboo toothbrushes, and an unwrapped second-hand toy. For my son, I found a well worn-in baseball glove and for my daughter, two My Little Ponies in perfect condition. I wasn’t sure what to do with these gifts, as they were intended to be from Santa. After some thought, we decided to give the baseball glove and My Little Ponies from us as small gifts, in adition to Great Wolf Lodge. In all honesty, I was relieved that they were receiving something small from us as I was not sure they would understand that their “real” gift was coming at a later date.
I bet you know where this is headed, right?
Back to Christmas morning! As I am sure you have guessed, our kids were thrilled with the gifts from us, my daughter in particular. The My Little Ponies were one of her favorite gifts. We didn’t even get around to telling them about Great Wolf Lodge, and subsequently, we tried to cancel our reservation, which wasn’t possible. So instead we have postponed our stay to later this year, perhaps as a birthday gift. A pricey lesson to learn! The baseball glove and the My Little Ponies cost less than 12 dollars combined, but because I failed to recognize that they were enough we ended up spending close to 40 times that amount. Yup, you read that right!
In the future, I hope I remember to slow down and not panic when it comes to gift giving. Second-hand is great, but so is a local handmade, package-free gift. I also can work on something that I didn’t even realize was a problem. I have been compensating for the fact that I give second-hand by giving more. I haven’t fully grasped why, either. No doubt, other lessons are awaiting my attention: such as my fear of my children facing judgment (not that they will, in reality) for our family’s lifestyle. I need to give them the tools (thoughtfulness, in particular), instead of more stuff, to deal with those situations.
“May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness and tied with love.” L.O. Baird
Mice images: Mileg
I loved reading this! What a great lesson and one I will surely keep in mind on my zero waste journey! 🙂
Thanks for the comment! I hope it sticks in my mind next time 😉 haha
I really appreciate you being open about your struggles with Christmas gifts. Both my kids have December birthdays so I find the birthday/Christmas season to be stressful and time-consuming as I try to find good-quality, appropriate gifts while also trying to keep consumption in check. It’s a work in progress! But this year I also found myself frustrated with family members who did not respect our request for no gifts. The grandparents are usually okay either giving money, asking what they should give, or finding educational or needed gifts. However aunts and uncles showed up with too many gifts overwhelming the kids and also increasing their expectation that Christmas was all about the presents. It was also awkward for us as we did not have gifts to reciprocate. Do you have any suggestions for dealing with family who just don’t seem to get it? I thought about asking for gift cards but would really rather have no gift exchange at all.
Hi Nicole, thanks for your comment! I SO struggle with this as well. The first year I was extremely strict and expressed my wishes for secondhand and non wrapped gifts (should family feel it necessary to give). I also would ask family who brought packaged gifts/wrapped gifts to take the excess home with them. I felt as though perhaps they would remember for next time if they had to “deal” with the trash.
Since this time I have relaxed quite a bit (not sure I have found my happy medium yet though)… A family member, who was coming to stay for a week, expressed to me that he was feeling nervous about spending time at our house as he was worried he couldn’t be himself, or that he would unintentionally screw up. This conversation made me think more about how I operate when it comes to family. Instead of focusing on what family is not doing right I try to reinforce what they are doing right. I am hopeful that over time family will understand exactly what it is I am trying to achieve. As this blog highlighted, I struggle with certain philosophies that I embrace. This is likely because we are bombarded daily by marketing ads and consumer jargon telling us to buy buy buy. When someone doesn’t live Zero Waste or a similar philosophy, I suspect it is hard for them to remember the rules we try to live by.
Sorry I do not have more concrete advice. Perhaps with extended family also ask for money? Maybe your child is saving for something? Or after expressing you prefer no gift, you can provide a small list of acceptable gifts, or secondhand stores to shop (should they need to buy a present).
Since that conversation with my brother-in -law I have adopted the philosophy that when I am at your home (any home other than mine) I will try to live by your rules. I don’t stress when grocery shopping, etc… and when people come to my home I know that they are aware of our lifestyle and are no doubt conscious of their actions in my home. But I want them to feel welcome, not criticized. I also think that inviting people into my home that this is the best way to demonstrate living Zero Waste, and hopefully each visit they will take something home with them.
Good Luck 🙂
I have been making gift bags for 6 years. I am a quilter and have lots of
material. Everyone loves the bags and the bags are gifts as well.
It is so good to hear from you
Thanks
That’s awesome! I am hoping my friend who made my gift bags is going to give me a lesson next time I am in Victoria – I think they are a lovely gift idea!
I finally sat down to read this! Thanks for sharing! I can totally identify with your gift search situation. I find myself searching for the balance between living my life low-stress and wanting to be “perfect” in my zero waste/eco-friendly/minimalist pursuits. I’m grateful for people like you who inspire me so much!
Awe Meredith what a lovely comment to sit down and read! Thank you! I LOVE the Zero Waste community on Instagram that we are both a part of. I find it to be the best source of inspiration, motivation and support. I am so grateful to have found all of you! The balance between “low-stress” and pursuit of “eco-perfection” is REAL! Haha I hear you loud and clear! xx